Save a Memory for Later

This has nothing to do with Memorial Day weekend. It does have something to do with family gatherings, though, and memory.

The novelist William Maxwell noted that one unexpected gift of aging is improved long-term memory, possibly a compensation for short-term memory loss, and other setbacks.

Maxwell said he could remember all the contents of a desk drawer from a previous age. Clear and detailed and vivid. Pens, pencils, paper clips, notes, what the notes said. All if it.

I had one of those memories today from Norwalk Ohio ca 1961 or so, when Grandma Melcher and her adult son Bob visited. Extended family from Detroit, and later Lakewood, I think.

I can see Bob Melcher as clearly as if he were standing here now, huge gracious smile, denim overalls of bright blue like country people wore, extending his hand in courtesy for a hearty handshake of greeting. I was just five. He was about 56, I guess.

Bobby reminded a later version of me of Will Rogers, the humorist of a century ago. Sandy brown hair, parted just a bit to the side, grinning alert and full of good humor.

They said he had a mental disability, that he couldn’t speak many words but to five year old that was no problem. He was nodding fervently as travelers do, meeting new people. That kindness and gentility I will never forget.

This was perhaps my first encounter with someone said to have “a disability.” Not sure it matters. What I remember best is the warm greeting and family feeling and focus of everyone together for a short time.

Grandma Melcher said the main blessing, regardless of other challenges, was that Bobby kept her from gallivanting about.

I just had no other place to process this visual memory of presence so I turn it over to you.

I suppose that my work experience recently triggered this memory, assisting people recovering from stroke, re-learning how to walk, slowly recovering rudimentary speech, and yet conscious emotional expression seemingly completely intact. Also a tribute to the family love and support so key and advantageous to healing.

Have a great weekend with family and friends! And save a memory for

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Qnote: Begonia flowers symbolize deep gratitude, peace, harmony, and caution. Because they thrive in shaded areas, they also represent quiet strength and individual beauty. Historically carrying a Victorian warning to “beware,” today they are primarily given as thoughtful gifts to express thanks or honor someone’s uniqueness.

I realize the roses have made me stop and drop what I’m doing for a minute.

Oh I get it: being present in the present moment.

I could imagine that the full moon/ eclipse illuminates the darkness where perhaps some authenticity awaits to emerge and like the rose it blooms.

Let go.

…No Charge. Still at Large

Good morning, Americans.

The secret word today is “charged”.

I love this word. I’m like the charge’ d affaires of the word “charged.”

The word “charged” is charged with effect, like an engine is super-charged; like a dish is charged with flavor, a line of poetry charged with meaning.

We exist in a highly charged atmosphere, do we not?

How wonderful, to acquire a thing -anything- free of charge!

In the fifties, ad agencies used a cartoon image of a general on a horse urging consumers to “Charge it!”

(Of course one is occasionally over-charged, and will perhaps wish to detonate a depth-charge, but the charges may be reversed according to the fine print on the credit card statement by dialing an 800 number.)

This may be accomplished electronically in a process involving electricity, with its highly charged particles.

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“Charged” has the most wonderful synonyms!:

breathtaking, electric, electrifying, exciting, exhilarating, exhilarative, galvanic, galvanizing, hair-raising, heart-stopping, inspiring, intoxicating, kicky- [not sure of that one!], mind-bending, mind-blowing, mind-boggling, rip-roaring, rousing, stimulating, stirring, thrilling-

And yet.

Headlines tell me that, despite mounting evidence of conspiracy and crimes, and intense public concern, the former president still has not been…

…charged.

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The Shadow Dock

The Shadow Dock (et

For Stephen Paul Rutkowski

Ann Howe I fixed it Tina Heringer gets it.

Ok the justices on the Supreme Court believe they have life time appointments while they ignore the Constitution and history and precedent and -woopsie! the “lifetime” thing is also the Constitution and history and precedent- so you see where we are going with this?

Just a matter of time before the justices decide that public life is just too much trouble and how nice it will be to spend more time with the family.

Just sayin’.

Here’s a song totally unrelated to the Supreme Court. (What does the Court have to do with a back-alley shakedown?- how can a high-minded Supreme Court justice compare to a low-life pirate?)- but it’s as swank,suave’ and cutting as the last few decisions.

And both Court and malevolent pirate like to dock in the shadows, though the Court be aboard an oligarch’s yacht:

“Oh, the shark, babe, has such teeth, dear
And it shows them pearly white
Just a jackknife has Alito
And he keeps it, ah, out of sight

You know when that shark bites with his teeth, babe
Scarlet billows start to spread
Fancy gloves, oh, wears old John Roberts, babe
So there’s never, never a trace of red

Now on the sidewalk, huh, huh, whoo sunny morning, un huh
Lies a body just oozin’ life, eek
And someone’s sneakin’ ’round the corner
Could that someone be ACB?

There’s a tugboat, huh, huh, down by the river don’tcha know
Where a cement bag’s just a-drooppin’ on down
Oh, that cement is just, it’s there for the weight, dear
Five’ll get ya ten, old Clarence, back in town

Now did ya hear ’bout Brett Kavanaugh? He disappeared, babe
After drawin’ out all his hard-earned cash
And now John Roberts spends just like a sailor
Could it be our boy’s done somethin’ rash?

Now Neil Gorsuch, ho, ho, yeah, Ginny Thomas
Ooh, Leonard Leo and old Harlan Crow
Oh, the line forms on the right, babe
Now that Justice Roberts is back in town

I said Misses Roberts , whoa, Ginny Thomas
Look out to Miss Coney Barrett and old Harlan Crow
Yes, that line forms on the right, babe
Now that Chief Roberts is back in town
Look out, Chief Roberts’ is back!

Did Paul Revere the Fourth? see what I did there?

I can’t say- but it’s the Glorious Fork of July, and not a treasonous spork in sight.

The Special Annotated Declaration of Independence- “the teenage high school version. Get down with your bad selves” as Zappa would say. (FZ told us this day was coming, when illusions and stage effects are carted away and we see what the plan was all along with those suckers.)

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Did Trump pass the Declaration of Independence malignity test signed by the first generation of dissidents, the true ‘1776ers?

Let’s look and see!

“He has combined with others to subject us to a jurisdiction foreign to our constitution, and unacknowledged by our laws; giving his Assent to their Acts of pretended Legislation.”

-declaration of independence

That’s SCOTUS just yesterday. And yes, they talk.

“He has obstructed the Administration of Justice”

-declaration of independence

True. He did do that.

“He has erected a multitude of New Offices, and sent hither swarms of Officers to harrass our people, and eat out their substance.”

-declaration of independence

That’s project 2025

“He has endeavoured to prevent the population of these States; for that purpose obstructing the Laws for Naturalization of Foreigners; refusing to pass others to encourage their migrations hither, and raising the conditions of new Appropriations of Lands.”
-Declaration of Independence

That’s the convict’s immigration policy.

“He has affected to render the Military independent of and superior to the Civil power.”

-declaration of independence

True. That’s martial law.

“He has refused to pass other Laws for the accommodation of large districts of people, unless those people would relinquish the right of Representation in the Legislature, a right inestimable to them and formidable to tyrants only.”
-declaration of independence

Thats voter suppression.

“He has made Judges dependent on his Will alone, for the tenure of their offices, and the amount and payment of their salaries.”

-declaration of independence

That’s SCOTUS.

should we keep goin’?

“For cutting off our Trade with all parts of the world.”

-declaration of independence

That’s the tariff thing he lied about.

“For imposing Taxes on us without our Consent.”
-declaration of independence

That’s us paying for the next tax cut.

“For depriving us in many cases, of the benefits of Trial by Jury”

-declaration of independence

That’s the SCOTUS decision yesterday barring trials and investigations.

“For taking away our Charters, abolishing our most valuable Laws, and altering fundamentally the Forms of our Governments”

-declaration of independence

That’s the SCOTUS decision overturning the Constitution for his benefit thank u!

“He has abdicated Government here, by declaring us out of his Protection and waging War against us.”

You get what I’m saying here. That project 2025 again.

“He has excited domestic insurrections amongst us.”

I think we get the idea.

It looks like the former president aced the test with flying upside down colors!

Vote Biden Vote Blue nothing else Will Do!

Fragment: Time of making marks of molding your palm in wet concrete fingers outstretched tagging a wall leaving a penny on a step a sealed letter a small prank a packet of old letters.

My library is full of books that are quite beyond my capacity, and my family and friends will praise my folly and wonder… what about the time you could be running or swimming or creating new structures but they (the books) speak to me as I walk by, they inspire, they feed an aspiration, they represent value, influence style, they reassure and challenge and work change quietly through a basic awareness of the utter miracle of consciousness and the phenomenon of language.

Plus I’m kind of lazy.

But the hour is invaluable and even a sentence can contain the music of the spheres so why not?

You who spent your days in a bookstore will know what I’m saying. You will know exactly.

A woo woo story

Three Angels

One day I woke up and wondered how much time I have left.

I thought about mortality and the challenges we’ve all faced lately.

So here’s the woo-woo part.

We took a Sunday drive to Pescadero, beautiful summer day, gorgeous, and we’re excited by our favorite little town. We took pictures of flowers and we stopped to look at the site of a restaurant we used to go to, that burned down years ago. A family place with a general store and a pizza oven and a big garden yard to relax in.

It’s rebuilt. Still empty, but a new building is complete.

Right then a gentleman came and answered our questions without being asked. He just joined us.

He insisted on telling us a joke or two. Usually that’s a sign to get walking asap, but he was really kind.

How come bananas have lots of friends? -They have a peel. You get the idea.

I’m eighty years old, he said. But I have friends who are over a hundred!

I was astonished- he actually was so healthy and fit he looked to be fifty.

He told us he walks the range of hills between Berkeley and Fremont and told us did you know you can find sea shells in the foot hills? It was once ocean floor.

He said look and opened his phone: here’s Mt Diablo, I walk with two waking sticks- and here’s a rock they call “Spock” because you can see a profile of pointy ears right in the crashing waves on the shore by Santa Cruz.

So ok, here’s a crazy old man who looks like he’s thirty but he’s close to one hundred and we’re starved let’s close this colloquy, am I right?

But he was so kind and generous with his positive outlook on life.

He walked us to the general store and there we parted to buy sandwiches and begin our outing.

While we were chatting I noticed he had dentures.

I’ve lost some teeth -part of my health challenges in the last 6 months; I’ve lost some of my uppers and it’s really tough- in this society we are all so harshly judged on our appearance and yes, I noticed he appeared to have dentures and noticed that they looked comfortable and like they fit well. I just noted that observation quietly to myself. It’s a personal anxiety. On my mind.

So that was a total interruption in our day, occurred as soon as we had parked. He just appeared there. And as quickly left.

So later I was thinking how in the morning I awakened with deep almost dangerous thoughts of mortality, seeing the light at the end of the tunnel, perhaps sooner than later.

And within an hour we had met this guy, who put himself on our path, lifted our spirits, was a picture of health and vitality at an advanced age, and appreciated the ancient landscape of California as we do, and even the geology, which is kind of a hobby with me and he had the teeth thing figured out. And pretty quickly he was gone.

I thought that must be what it’s like to meet an angelic being. His message met the demand of the moment, my desultory meditation on death, with a message of life and continuing adventures.

Then I had the thought that mystics have asserted, that spirit-signs come in threes.

So right after sandwiches at the little general store, Ingrid bought a silver cookie cutter at an antique store right across the street- an angel. She loves it!

So I thought, well, possibly that’s the second angel but what about the third angel, if guidance comes in three?

I couldn’t see another angel sign, I scratched my head and thought.

Wait! What is the name of the country store where we all went and parted?

Arcangeli Grocery.

Archangel!

And -postscript -I shook hands (fist-bumped) with the gentleman and introduced myself and he told me his name: Manuel. Which is short for “Emmanuel” which is spiritual for divine presence.

You tell me.

Oh- later, while I was noting these things at home, I listened to a speaker online talking about our recent full moon and solstice (Summer!) and she mentioned the symbolism of how the deeper self seems to arise from the source as from depths of the sea, and the gentleman told us he saw sea shells up in the California hills.

***

Later that same week:

Woo woo -ology.

These unpredictable things are becoming predictable.

What the…? Dept

So I was just musing about an art project for no particular reason – the Day of the Dead altar we do each year. I was at work where we assemble it in the fall.

Then on my desk someone left an old jewelry box; a bit later my supervisor said oh that’s for your altar this year. I’m having another one turned into a music box and I don’t need this.

Then 20 minutes later I went to do residents laundry and 1/2 way done with folding. All Saints Day. Which is part of the two-day festival for Day of the Dead. Completely random -two unrelated people’s objects- and nearly simultaneous too.

The resident just brought that laundry from his apartment this week.

Good Dog

Dear Cricket,

You’re just a rambunctious puppy but now you’re famous. Everybody’s asking “Where’s Cricket?”

I had to sit with this for a minute.

I heard a zen monk tell about a sorrow that arose during prolonged meditation. He realized he’d found compassion for insects. He remembered the suffering he had caused. He apologized to the insects. Each one. Each individual insect.

Part of the attainment he sought was to face his past honestly.

I think that’s how it went.

Yesterday I heard a mystic say everything in the universe has a soul.

Cricket, I used to be afraid of all bees. I felt they had to be destroyed if they buzzed into my environment. It hurts to get stung.

I considered insects to be “bad.”

Cause of death, rolled up newspaper. Spray can of poison . Whatever.

They suffered.

So one day I was practicing piano with the door to the garden path at my sister Kate’s and during some Beethoven bagatelle I glanced down at my knee and there I saw a big fat fuzzy bumble bee right there on my knee, fast asleep.

So that was my tiny awakening. I felt the sorrow like that monk expressed. Without the fear I could see the beauty of the little bug.

I’m not afraid of bees! I don’t have to be cruel! Freedom! And some teachings tell us that karma action is involved, to repair the harm, the inflicted pain.

Cricket, I am sorry for all the bugs I smooshed. The harm I’ve done. My Life Review is going to be a mess. All I ask is a little help, guidance, to alleviate a little suffering if I can.

You are innocent. Not me though!

I’m not even close to conscious knowledge of how my life is affecting other animals, and people too. That would be “perspective.” I’m not there yet.

Cricket, we owe you a debt of gratitude. Perhaps you remind Americans that the cruelty is not the point, after all.

You did not deserve to be an icon to get out the vote in November. But if so, you are helping to save democracy. Good dog!

Thank you. The wild beasts turned out to be the human beings- again.

Now, about those cicadas!

PS I thought this song was really about the bee. I was so young!

https://youtu.be/e41IyhJVCJ8?si=-8HO4DOVq8y7SwDP

The Proceedings, Day Two

In the olden days there’d be a full spittoon on the floor right next to the sociopath/germophobe/defendant, and the attorneys reeking of whiskey and cigar smoke; the musty smell of old mushrooms and cologne, pervasive.

Every time someone sat a chair would creak, or a warped floorboard, and doors would actually slam, in the slammer.

I hope the defendant’s seat is solid wood and not ergonomic!

In a century of malfeasance nothing much has changed.

After decades of stealth trials against Clinton, a la’ Paula Jones, now the entire Republican Party is haplessly defending Trump from his mistresses.

You need the love of the serfs as well as the loyalty of the nobility and the generals to be a going concern as an autocrat. This courtroom is just one step on the path to greatness.

Someone open a window. It smells like a rat died in a patch of rotting pumpkins somewhere near the front row, and no-I would not like to be a fly on the wall for the opening statement of the Defense.

The echoes of a hundred corruption trials are summed up in a quote from the previous judge:

“Mr Trump, sit down!”

***

The Proceedings, Day Two

What Is That Smell, Your Honor? Should we clear the Court?

After years of Paula Jones stealth cases against Clinton we have the entire Republican Party trying to defend Trump from his many mistresses. Someone crack a window. It’s really stuffy in here.

It’s like old mushrooms and cologne.

I hope that Trump’s chair in the courtroom is made of wood and not ergonomic.

In the olden days there’d be a full spittoon on the floor right next to the sociopath/germophobe/defendant, and the attorneys be reeking of whiskey and cigar smoke.

In a century of malfeasance nothing much has changed.

You need the love of the serfs as well as the loyalty of the nobility and the generals to be a going concern as an autocrat. This courtroom is just one step on the path to greatness.

Someone open a window. It smells like a rat died in a patch of rotting pumpkins somewhere near the front row, and no-I would not like to be a fly on the wall for the opening statement of the Defense.

…Speaking of Abortion: Save the Whales!

Back in the seventies my roommate -a sharp African American poet/writer -used to ridicule my devotion to Pacifica Radio and she’d ask me every day “Are you saving the whales?” or “Did you save any whales today?” She’d laugh and laugh at my tie-dyed groundless, baseless, ineffectual cross-eyed idealism.

And I’d send Pacifica five bucks subscription or whatever.

It’s my question for Pro-Life Republicans. Most of them I believe are pretending to save all the whales. They are Bleeding Heart Conservatives who do not know their way around a Petri dish. And neither do I.

It was always a bait and switch. For a mere $5 trillion dollar tax cut, we (the political faction) will grant your wish and ban abortion.

The abortion issue was all about cutting taxes for the rich. Always.

An abortion ban should never have been a priority on the national stage! Never. It was thrust upon the public by cynics who needed votes for Reagan. Quid pro quo with religious fanatics led by television evangelists who had axes to grind and aces up their sleeves and revenue on their mind.

Money. M-O-N-E-Y.

And if family values was the issue, how can it be that the political spokesmen to ban abortion cheated on their wives so routinely? It was a thing with them. Reagan and his ilk. They cared not for their wives who they ditched or any little cell groups that were dividing somewhere unknown.

But no matter. This is now.

But what they should do is what I suggest.

They should- if they care about the sanctity of Life- save the whales.

Because when those whales are gone we know humanity could be next.

So those sweet little unborn zygotes will have no healthy parents to bring them to term if life on earth is extinct.

Human beings are in the food chain. If you want to save babies start with the environment in which they can survive outside the womb.

And that is true: The evolution of Life on Earth depended on some intricate organizing principle underlying it all. It’s supposed to fit together in a balanced way including all life. Not just you. Otherwise life could not be sustained.

That’s the mystery. Fish grew eyeballs and glowed in the dark. And then you came along.

Life had to await perfect conditions for life. That required organization in advance. A space in which to live and conditions for a chance of survival had to precede the cell groups. That’s the book of Genesis. Call it God or whatever. Same difference.

We prepare the environment for life as best we can. First. If possible. All of us on earth.

But do the Sanctity of Life people care about that?

Oh no. Fuck no! (And I use the F word advisedly.)

Sigh.

I have saved zero whales today. So we’re even.

Ronald Reagan saved not one whale that I’m aware of.

Jerry Fallwell saved no whales.

Billy Graham didn’t prevent ocean warming that fucked up the food chain on which the dividing cells of your future loved ones will depend.

I write in hopes those children when born won’t have to run for their lives from storms and fires and lightning strikes, and continue in desperation to deplete the energy we’ve already burned through.

I’m burning through a shit-ton of energy myself right now!

And no hunger in the United States!

Pro-Life Hucksters, you suck. So bad.

Save the whales!

I believe that President Biden will save a whale, if given the opportunity. By that I mean he’d at least consider mitigation of climate change and ocean warming. Tiny living cells afloat in oceans and oceans full of Life.

If you can save babies that exist only in theory you can save theoretical whales.