***Joshua Abraham Norton (February 4, 1818– January 8, 1880) was a famous eccentric who declared himself emperor of the United States and who issued his own currency. His authority was acknowledged by San Franciscans, and local establishments accepted his hand printed promissory notes. His uniformed image with bicycle is ubiquitous. ***

“Emperor Norton and Robin Williams tour the Afterlife by Velocipede”

O psychics:

It’s been a couple years since Robin passed, so if you’re all not too busy…

Look into your crystal

and tell us – hm -where is he?

***

Emperor Norton and Robin Williams look down from Telegraph Hill,

They knew that all the spirits of San Francisco were looking for a thrill-

*

So Emperor Norton issued a proclamation which was, upon its face,

“To Sir Robin of Williams, I do declare:

Let’s have a San Francisco race!”

*

Mr Williams was dressed as a flying ace, had scarf and little goggles on

The empereror in military coat, plumed hat-Carol Channing fired the starting gun.

-So the Emperor Norton/Robin Williams San Francisco race was on!

*

The Emperor has a giant bike

-a velocipede it’s called

popular in the 1880’s, but slightly overhauled

*

With rockets, bells, and whistles

And doodads and one giant forward wheel-

Robin’s had his ten-speed, solar powered, takes off with a squeak and a squeal!

*

They fly down old Montgomery Street

and bump down Filbert Stair

(For extra comfort Robin recommends pillows beneath the derrière…)

*

They scoot along crooked Lombard

and head past Cafe Trieste

where Robin sings “O Solo Mio!”

But no! they did not stop to rest.

*

All the while crowds gathered

(San Franciscans love a crazy time)

Robin stops to entertain

“Does anyone here speak Mime?”

*

(He tries to escape from invisible walls

and does his best Marcel Marceau)

but no sooner had he knocked on his imaginary door

Emperor Norton says “ Sir Williams, it’s time to go!”

*

Off to old Vesuvio and Tosca and Tivoli and Specs

They had so many Irish Coffees

They looked like a couple of nervous wrecks

*

Then off to Gino and Carlo they pedaled through the fog

“Mon Dieu!” Robin cried, “There’s Warren Hinckle, drinking with his dog!”

*

-Now they’re kind of woozy, on twisty bike lanes they did go

They stopped at Columbus and Broadway, to see a

Carol Doda Show.

*

She had her Beach Blanket bazoombas

Out for all to see

So Robin evangelized the crowd:

“If you want salvation, follow me!

*

(Not before they stopped along Columbus

to read some beat poetry.)

*

So Emperor Norton and Kerouac and Ginsberg were doing spoken word poetry jams

Then they went to Mabuhay for punk rock crowd-surfing and body slams

*

But first they stop at Washington Square

To do a scene from Shakespeare after dark

Robin speaks:

“forsooth what light

thru yonder winder breaks?-Tis immortal Jerry Garcia

Truckin’ through the park!”

*

Jerry’s solo went wheedly wee

Twang de twiddley- boo

Turk Murphy and Lou Watters’ Band

joined in with spooky trad/jazz too

*

(Said Herb Caen to Charles McCabe, Strangest sightem I ever did see-

To watch Robin Williams in goggles as Hamlet declaim “to be, or not to be”)

(that would be journalism, one dot, two dot, three …)

*

…So off they went on bicycles, partying all night long

They’ve left the Washbag, now they’re airborne over Powell-

That ends this Hallow’s Eve song

-Whoever after due and proper warning shall be heard to utter the abominable word “Frisco,” which has no linguistic or other warrant, shall be deemed guilty of a High Misdemeanor, and shall pay into the Imperial Treasury as penalty the sum of twenty-five dollars.- emperor norton